I'm addicted to TV

It's 4 am and I can't fall asleep. My anxiety is at an all time high and I just don't feel like forcing myself. I have lots of sleeping pills but they're usually useless so I don't bother to take them unless I'm desperate. I just finished watching last Sunday's episode of Homeland and thought I'd ramble on here about what I'm watching this fall.

I am addicted to TV. I used to spend several hours watching TV and thought I had kicked the habit when I got rid of my cable subscription. It turns out that I should have also gotten rid of my internet subscription too.  No cable? No problem - I just watch everything online. This season I am following so many shows that I have actually created a Springpad notebook to keep track of them. Yes, I have issues.

Here's a quick summary of what I'm currently watching.

The Walking Dead - I actually started season 1 of this show a week ago and spent my entire week catching up so that I am now on track. That means I watched 25 episodes in a week. If I was in the kitchen, the laptop was with me. Folding laundry? Eating? I lived and breathed The Walking Dead last week. It consumed my entire Saturday. Insomnia creeping in? Oh not to worry, I have The Walking Dead. It's exactly what it sounds like - a show about zombies and obviously, I am hooked.

Dexter - I love, love, love Dexter. My friends and I actually schedule a Google Plus Hangout to watch Dexter each week. We can't miss our favourite serial killer. Things started off a bit slow this season but it's finally picking up.

666 Park Avenue - This is a new one. I like it so far. It's about a haunted (?) apartment building. It's a bit more than haunted though. It seems that the owner of the building may be the devil himself.

Homeland - Homeland is best watched in bulk. Waiting one week for the next episode will drive you crazy. The protagonist, Carrie, will make you scream at the screen every single week. I love that while watching tonight, I could feel my anxiety building but  I wasn't sure if it was just because I was already high-strung. While reading a review, I realised that many others felt the same way. It's a great show about the CIA - just prepare to be frustrated as you simply cannot predict what the writers will do next.

Parenthood - This show is in its fourth season and apparently the writers have been on a mission to make me cry in every single episode this season. I didn't cry last week though -take that writers! They have dealt with some great issues this season. I really love the family dynamic here.

Covert Affairs - Honestly, Covert Affairs isn't the best drama out there. I watched a random episode once, liked what I saw and then went back and watched the previous seasons. (Yes, watching all previous episodes is something  I do a lot which is why I try to avoid watching new (as in, new to me but have been on for a while) shows. I have ZERO self control so it's easier to just not start.) I think I keep watching now just so that I can talk about it with a friend of mine.

NCIS & NCIS LA - I am getting a bit bored with these two shows. They're solid dramas but I am just not feeling it anymore. I still watch them though. Both are available on the TV.com app on my phone so if I'm unable to sleep, it's pretty easy to watch an episode or two until I feel sleepy without having to turn on my laptop. In fact, I think I may do that now. Although, I'm caught up on both shows so I may play some other random show like CSI:NY, CSI or Undercover Boss.

This list takes us to Tuesday. I'm going to try to fall asleep and maybe later today or tomorrow, I'll write about the shows that are on on Wednesday and Thursday nights..

My First Commercial Yeast Bread

I have baked a lot of sourdough loaves over the last year and a half but I have never made a loaf of bread with commercial yeast. I had two packets of yeast left from making guava and cream cheese rolls for the Willow Bird Baking Challenge and wondered what I'd make with them. I thought it would be donuts until on Sunday my friend sent me a panicked message asking for help with her No Knead Bread. Yes, that famous New York Times No Knead Bread. She said it was watery but she followed all the instructions.

There are several reasons why her dough could have been watery. Maybe she accidentally added too little flour or too much water. I have found that different brands of flours absorb water differently too. Humidity could also play a role. Too many variables to diagnose. I decided that since I had some commercial yeast, I'd try this famous loaf.

It's hard for me to go back to baking bread using volume measurements since I am so used to weighing my ingredients but I decided to stop being picky. I made two changes. The original recipe called for 1 5/8 cup of water and I ditched that additional 1/8 cup. When stirring together, I could see that my dough could have used those additional two tablespoons and it would not have made a difference. I also replaced 1/4 cup of the water with beer.

I mixed it up and it definitely was not watery -sticky but not watery. In fact, I have made loaves with a higher hydration. She said she added more flour but after the bulk ferment, it went back to watery. I waited 18 hours but mine did not get watery. It smelled wonderful though. Love that beer smell.

I just took it out the oven and  I can hear it crackling behind me as it cools down. I can't wait to slice it. It's a beautiful loaf. I think I'm in love!

Heavy

Tonight I wanted to post an update on the Willow Bird Baking Challenges. We made braids, stuffed cookies and cupcakes and I never got around to posting pics of what I made a link to what others made. Tonight as I prepped the final challenge, I made a mental note to get this post done.

But then, I got word that a friend was brutally murdered. I am in shock. I am angry. I am in pain.

Sick

I feel sick today so I'm taking a 2 hour break and making a kitchen bucket list. What? You thought I was going to the doctor? 
What's on your bucket list? Kitchen or otherwise?

Sunday Stream of Consciousness: No Prompt

There's no prompt for today's stream of consciousness so I get to write what's on my mind for the next 5 minutes.

Today I was working on cookies for the 3rd Willow Bird Baking Challenge. Have you read about that yet? Pretend that I added a hyperlink here but just go to my previous post (and most likely the next) to read more. Working on these challenges has taught me ..no..reminded me of something about myself. I am EXTREMELY indecisive. I simply cannot make up my mind and when I do make a choice, I immediately regret it. Sometimes, I have to ask friends to make the choice for me before I drive myself crazy. I literally spent almost every moment since the Google Hangout ended at about 8:10 on Friday night until ..well just about now deciding what to make. I made an instant decision 2 minutes after the Hangout and was proud of myself. And then it changed, evolved. Now I'm not doing anything close to what I had first decided. That makes me kinda sad. The first idea was a great one.

But these are just cookies. They're not really life decisions. But my behaviour mirrors how I make other decisions in my life. Should I make a call? Go for a walk? I simply cannot make up my mind. I know a lot of it..well, all of it, is related to my anxiety disorder. It may be time to go back to therapy. I think I have forgotten all the tools that I picked up. Having an anxiety disorder can be....oops...there goes the timer.

Want to join in on Sunday Stream of Consciousness? Visit Jana's Thinking Place for more info.

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Comfy Cozy

Today’s (totally optional) prompt: What makes you feel cozy and safe?

A blanket wrapped tightly around me? A hug from a special person? This is a hard one for me. Maybe it's food. Do I find comfort and safety in food? Maybe I feel that way in the kitchen. It's weird to think that what makes me feel cozy and safe does not immediately come to mind. Perhaps it's the difference in meaning of the to words to me. I may feel cozy all wrapped up in my blanket on a chilly night. But I may not necessarily feel safe. A warm bowl of may favourite soup or meal may evoke feelings of comfort and coziness too but they don't make me feel safe. 

What makes you feel cozy and safe? Perhaps, you'll do better than me. My 5 minutes have ended. Yours begin now.

Visit Jana's Thinking Place for more about SOC Sunday.

Willow Bird Baking Challenge #1: Guava & White Chocolate Cream Cheese Rolls and Plantain & Bacon Rolls.

I mentioned before that I absolutely love Willow Bird Baking. I read a lot of food blogs and bookmark a lot of recipes. However, I never get around to making most of them. However, from the day I found Julie's blog, it has been hard to resist the urge to make every recipe she posts. So of course when she issued a challenge, I was all over it. You can learn more about the challenge here:

Over the next few weeks, Julie will issue a challenge to us. The first was given on September 28. She asked us to do a twist on cinnamon rolls. Now, while I was jumping out of my seat and happy to run to the kitchen to start baking, I was also scared. Cinnamon rolls are just always messy for me. My dough is too sticky. There's too much filling oozing. I can't slice the rolls neatly. It goes on and on. I wasn't going to let that stop me though. 

I decided to do two types - a guava and white chocolate cream cheese and plantain and bacon. It was hard to wait for the plantains to ripen enough for this. I couldn't wait anymore and just went ahead.  

I used the dough that Julie provided. As expected, it was extremely sticky. I think I needed to increase the flour amount just a bit to compensate for my humid climate. I used my baking mat to help me roll them. I had a lot of trouble slicing the plantain rolls that I made first. I decided to chill the guava rolls before slicing and that made it a lot easier. 

Guava & White Chocolate Cream Cheese Rolls

I used half of the Julie's dough for each set of rolls. I rolled out the first half to about 10" x 10". I didn't measure. I then spread about 4 ounces of softened Philadelphia Indulgence White Chocolate Cream Cheese over the dough. 

I did two letter folds and then rolled the dough out to approximately 12" x 16". I brushed the dough with about a tablespoon of melted butter. You could use more if you like, but I don't like dealing with butter oozing out of the rolls. I actually prefer to spread softened butter over the dough instead of melted butter. 

I then put thin strips of guava paste all over the dough. You can find guava paste in Latin markets. 

This is the one I used: 

It's just a block of lots and lots of sugar and guava. It's pretty pliable though and tastes oh so good. I sliced it as thinly as I could and placed it on my dough. You could also slightly soften it in the microwave and mix in some spices. Or you could simply sprinkle the spices over the thin slices. However, I love the taste as is so I left it alone. 

After that, I rolled up my dough starting with the long side. I placed it in the freezer for about 15 minutes so that it would be easier to slice. I sliced it into 12 rolls and proofed and baked per Julie's instructions. 

You can see from the picture that I didn't add a lot of icing to it. I mixed just a tiny bit of powdered sugar with Irish Cream coffee creamer (yup!) and sprinkled a bit on. The rolls are pretty sweet. You really don't need the additional sugar. I did it for aesthetics and to see if I was good at using the tines of a fork to put icing on. 

Plantain & Bacon Rolls

For the plantain and bacon rolls, I first cooked 12 slices bacon for just a couple minutes and left it to cool. I didn't want crisp bacon.

 I sliced my plantains and added them to a pot with just a little water to help them soften. They were still not as ripe as I'd have liked. I added a little sugar and spices and then mashed them up. I made sure the liquid had evaporated and left it to cool. It was then the same thing as the other rolls. First I spread the plantain all over my rolled out dough (12" x 16")and then I lay the 12 strips of bacon perpendicular to the long side. I carefully rolled it up and then sliced, proofed and baked. 

I wanted to put something on top of these rolls but I didn't want it to be a sweet icing. I'll have to think about it over the next couple of days.

These are so good that I don't want to share. I had plans to send them to friends but now they're mine - all mine! I put most of them in the freezer and I will be eating them for days!

Here's Julie's post showcasing all the other delicious rolls her readers came up with.

I'm submitting this to Yeast Spotting.