Thursday, June 17, 2010

Of scheduling and waiting and rambling

April 21, 2010 – D Day

The weeks leading up to D-Day were interesting to say the least. I didn’t know exactly how to feel. The day I scheduled the appointment I had a mini panic attack and wanted to throw up. Well, that isn’t quite true. That was the day I tried to schedule the appointment. It took me days (weeks, months) to build up the courage to make the call and when I did, the scheduler was not in office. I just about died. Would I have to go through the emotional upheaval and psyching myself up all over again to make this call? It turns out that I didn’t have to. A helpful nurse took my information and told me that she would have the scheduler call me the next day. That meant I got to sit all day the next day. And wait.

When she did call, I took a deep breath, answered the phone and scheduled surgery for just about a month away. I then posted it on facebook – because you know, it isn’t real until you have posted it on facebook. That was March 17.

Everything happens for a reason

Do you believe in that saying? I do. Some days it is a difficult concept to accept but other times, you just know that it is true. I could think of several fallacies in that argument but let’s leave that alone.

On March 6, I ran into an old acquaintance - someone from my past life whom, due to ‘circumstances,’ I never got to know very well. There has always been some regret there but nothing I ever fully focused on. The day after I scheduled surgery, he sent me a message and we hung out together for a bit. While together, my mother called to confirm her flight to be with me for surgery so I mentioned it to him. It is a weird thing to randomly bring up in a conversation with someone you haven’t spoken to in years and also were never really friends with. OK. I am getting long winded and rambly (new word?) Suffice to say that this old acquaintance kept me sane for the weeks leading up to surgery. Everything happens for a reason. Maybe if we had become friends back then, he wouldn’t be in my life now. Maybe. Maybe not. However, I do know that running into him when I did was for this reason – to keep me from losing my mind.

I am blessed with wonderful friends – no matter what I sometimes say, and no matter how lonely I often feel. I am blessed. A friend from high school immediately scheduled a flight to come for surgery, Vance (wow…can’t believe I remember his journalspace nickname) and Rice also did the same. B L E S S E D.

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