Sunday, September 16, 2012

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Dropped Into My Life

I was reading Law Momma's blog and her post this morning inspired me to write. She's following a prompt given by Jana's Thinking Place. For five minutes, write about someone who was dropped into your life for a reason.

I've mentioned Michael before in this context but he's the one I feel moved to write about again. Somewhere in my old posts, you will find that I had a brain tumor - benign - and eventually had surgery. Booking that surgery was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do and I literally threw up after I made the call to the scheduler. The evening after I made that call, I got a message from Michael. We met years before but lost contact. We hung out that night and somehow it came out about my upcoming surgery. I had always been reluctant to talk to new people about my brain tumor. I definitely did not go on dates during that time. When exactly do you tell your date that you have a brain tumor and there may be no good night kiss because it might hurt and I will scream in pain and then curl up into a ball and cry? Or that you may only be able to talk for a short amount of time before you may scream in pain and then curl up into a ball and cry?

But I found myself talking to Michael about it. He asked the usual questions and for the 4 weeks leading up to my surgery, he literally and figuratively held my hand. He was insistent that I have as much fun as possible those 4 weeks. We were spontaneous. 3 some mornings would find us driving around South Beach looking for the best place to hang out. Some nights we'd just walk the beach.

The night before surgery, he came over, gave me a hug and while I sat there wondering if I should cry or not, he shushed me. There's no need to cry. I have already made up my mind about surgery. I  know the risks. I just have to do it.

He texted to make sure my mother had groceries before and after surgery. He heard my mother was craving cheesecake and brought her a huge slice.

Now don't get me wrong, I had lots of friends supporting me during this time. But Michael's actions just really touched me. I had been feeling like a burden to everyone around me who had been dealing with the effects of my tumor for 2 years prior. I didn't want to talk to them about it that much anymore. I didn't want them to see me crying when the pain hit and my Tegretol just wasn't working. I didn't want to tell them again that it was 6:30 and like clockwork at about that time everyday, I feel asleep.

Oops, my 5 minutes is up. But yeah, Michael came back into my life at a point when I needed a shoulder to lean on if necessary and someone to distract me from it all when I wanted that too.

8 comments:

  1. Michael sounds like a wonderful person. You are so blessed to have him in your life. I'm so glad you joined in. Please check next Sunday for another prompt. Or just link up with a 5 minute brain dump.

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    1. Thank you! I'll definitely be checking next Sunday.

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  2. I have no idea what it's like to have that kind of major surgery. My grandmother had cancer but I was so young that I don't remember the details much. But I can't imagine not having someone that was really there for me if I ever needed them. So glad you did.

    Visiting from Jana's.

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  3. He sounds like a very special person. I can only imagine that if I was in your situation I would need someone that would be strong and allow me to be weak. Someone to make me laugh and understand when I cried. Such a neat story.

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    1. He is special. I've always believed that we found each other again after losing contact for about 7 years just so that he could be there for me at that time.

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  4. Michael sounds like a wonderful person and I wonder if it was just coincidence that you reconnected shortly before such a major surgery? I wonder if there is more to the story and if he is still part of your life?

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    1. I don't think it was a coincidence. I really feel that we reconnected at that moment because I needed him then. It's a strange story. We knew each 7 years before in a completely different city, hundreds of miles away. And just before surgery, I'm at a party and see him standing across the room, staring at me.

      Yes, he is still in my life. We like to think that if things had gone differently 7 years before that moment in 2010, he wouldn't have been around to comfort me during that period.

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