There's no prompt for today's stream of consciousness so I get to write what's on my mind for the next 5 minutes.
Today I was working on cookies for the 3rd Willow Bird Baking Challenge. Have you read about that yet? Pretend that I added a hyperlink here but just go to my previous post (and most likely the next) to read more. Working on these challenges has taught me ..no..reminded me of something about myself. I am EXTREMELY indecisive. I simply cannot make up my mind and when I do make a choice, I immediately regret it. Sometimes, I have to ask friends to make the choice for me before I drive myself crazy. I literally spent almost every moment since the Google Hangout ended at about 8:10 on Friday night until ..well just about now deciding what to make. I made an instant decision 2 minutes after the Hangout and was proud of myself. And then it changed, evolved. Now I'm not doing anything close to what I had first decided. That makes me kinda sad. The first idea was a great one.
But these are just cookies. They're not really life decisions. But my behaviour mirrors how I make other decisions in my life. Should I make a call? Go for a walk? I simply cannot make up my mind. I know a lot of it..well, all of it, is related to my anxiety disorder. It may be time to go back to therapy. I think I have forgotten all the tools that I picked up. Having an anxiety disorder can be....oops...there goes the timer.
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