Friday, May 17, 2013

To the Runners

Dear Friends who are Runners,

At least once over the past 3 years you have probably heard me say, "Oh how I wish I could run a marathon [half marathon/10K/5K/3K] and each time you have said, "Oh, Kelster! You can definitely do it!" I always scoffed. I knew better. 

I heard you talk about your "runner's high". The euphoria! The sense of accomplishment! Oh how I wanted that! I suspected that you were lying to me and there was at least some cognitive dissonance at work. After all, that's the same song and dance I heard the P90Xer's with too. I did 90 days of that and there was no extra serotonin pumping through my brain. In fact, I was always just glad it was over so that I could move on to the next thing on my to-do list. 

Finally, two and a half weeks ago, I took the plunge. I found a Beginner 5K training plan on Runkeeper and set out running. It hurt. My throat hurt. I complained. But I tried again. It became less painful. I celebrated going faster each day. I learned to run while dancing to Flo-Rida and T-Pain's Low. I even did a booty smack! There was no runner's high but I wasn't calling any of you names.



Why didn't you ever tell me about the blisters?!!!!

I thought we were friends. 

I feel betrayed. 

I don't know if this friendship can be repaired. 

I will have to rethink everything we ever had. 

I just.. I just don't even know what to say to you anymore. 

Just tell me, what do I do about the blisters?

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