Recently I was having a conversation with a friend about the various men in our lives. She mentioned that the only (one of the?) reason(s?) she wouldn’t have sex with a particular young man was that knowing her luck, he’d have super strong sperm, she’d get pregnant and she’d be stuck in Podunk raising his babies. I laughed; I laughed hard. But when I stopped laughing, I started thinking. Wasn’t that an extremely valid reason?
Each time you have sex, there is a possibility that you could get pregnant. No contraceptive is 100% effective so unless one of you is infertile, there is no guarantee of not conceiving (and it's still possible if you’re one of those women on I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant. Can I go off on a tangent here? The vast majority of those women were “diagnosed” infertile yet years down the line a child falls out of their vaginas into a toilet. I follow a lot of mommy blogs and they all talk about feeling their babies ninja kicking them or simply moving around in their bellies. Did these ladies really think that it was just a huge gas bubble? Now, yes, I know; if the doctor says that you are infertile, a baby would be the last thing on your mind. But if you know that you’re infertile and there’s something dancing around in your tummy and you’re not going to take a pregnancy test, you should at least call a priest to come do an exorcism. Let me get back on topic.)
So yes, I’m thinking that since there’s always a possibility of conception, it isn’t a crazy idea to only have sex with someone whom you would be OK raising a child with or at least you’d be ok getting pregnant for (or impregnating). I know thoughts about children and pregnancy would probably take the fun out of the experience. But you’ll probably enjoy it more if you’re not worried about what would happen if you got pregnant. If you did get pregnant, you would already know how you would deal with it. That’s actually a conversation that I believe every sexually active couple should have – what will we do if we get pregnant? Of course when it happens, you could certainly feel different but at least you would have some idea about your partner’s views. It would save a lot of stress.
I have been telling people about my “Loin Quiver Test.” It’s exactly what it sounds like: if a guy doesn’t make my loins quiver then he shall stay squarely on the friends ladder (read more about ladder theory here). I think I shall add the “Baby Test” too. Maybe I want to find a different name, however. That name alone may scare guys off. Any suggestions?